Felonious Transfiguration
by rellais
Summary: "In that case Mr. Malfoy, it is my responsibility to inform you that you are being charged with felonious transfiguration of a Ministry Official. You have the right to counsel, if you cannot afford your own counsel.."


"Let me ask again Mr. Malfoy, where were you on the night of Thursday the 25th?"

"Let me tell you again, I was with a friend"

"What was your friend's name, Mr. Malfoy?"

"I have already told you, I am unable to answer that question."

"An unbreakable vow, Mr. Malfoy?"

"No, just respect for a friend"

"Okay, let's try this another way, is this a female friend Mr. Malfoy"

"Does it matter?"

"It might, Mr. Malfoy. Everything matters at this time. Do you understand why you are here?"

"I assume that you suspect me of something that happened on Thursday the 25th."

"Not suspect, Mr. Malfoy, that is too strong of a word, we just need to verify that you were not involved, something that we would of already done by now if you would simply tell me who you were with."

"How many times are we going to cover this, I was with a friend."

"Who…"

"And again, I am unable to share that information with you."

"You are not making this very easy for me, Mr. Malfoy. I would have thought that you, of all people, would have been a little more cooperative."

"Why me, "of all people"?"

"Come now, Mr. Malfoy, I know you are an intelligent young man, don't make me explain the obvious to you."

"Would you care to explain exactly what I am suspected of?"

"Not suspected, Mr. Malfoy – we just want to be able to remove your name from our inquiries."

"Then explain exactly what inquiry you are removing me from."

"No need for the tone Mr. Malfoy, just tell me where you were on the 25th, give me the name of the person you were with and with a quick floo to confirm you can be home within the hour."

"Am I not free to leave?"

"Not at this time Mr. Malfoy, we cannot take any chances that our Auror might still be in danger."

"So, I am suspected of a crime against an Auror?"

"Shit!"

"You didn't deny that I am a suspect this time, or that it was an Auror! I can assure you that I had nothing to do with anything that happened, what happened to the Weasel anyway? Oh, don't raise your eyebrow at me like that, he was the only one of your Aurors not at the party at the Manor on Friday, basic logic - not that you would probably understand that."

"I am not at liberty to discuss the specifics with you Mr. Malfoy, just tell me who you were with and this can all go away. That is if this "someone" actually exists."

"Of course they exist; Malfoys do not have imaginary friends."

"Then just tell me who it is. Your statements today have done nothing to help clear your name."

"My name is not soiled, Sir. It does not need clearing."

"Who was it Mr. Malfoy?"

"Again?"

"Who?"

"A friend, you are wasting your time, I am unable to tell you. There is a part of me that wishes that I could, just to make you go away – there is also a part of me that is grateful that I cannot as I refuse to contribute to your astonishing display of stupidity."

"Mr. Malfoy, your insults do nothing but hurt you. Understand that there are certain, um, elements to this crime that are linked very closely to you during your years at Hogwarts."

"I see, well I was a pompous, spoiled little boy for many of those years, as were many others. I was a Slytherin, as were many others. I broke rules and will admit to cheating on a few tests but, again, as did many others. So unless the Auror you spoke of was somehow Dumbledore and he was attacked by DeathEaters – I cannot think of anything that would relate specifically to me."

"How can you speak so lightly of that Mr. Malfoy, have you given any thought to the fact that your blasé attitude to such a horrific event may be the very basis for people's lack of faith in you?"

"If Albus Dumbledore himself can forgive me for my fear and weakness as a child and understand the complete lack of choice that I had in the matter, then I have no concern for the opinion of anyone else. I will tell you sir that I have many friends that do have faith in me"

"I don't need to know about all of your friends Mr. Malfoy, just one. Who were you with on Thursday?

"I think we might be done here, we are at a stalemate, I did nothing wrong, I was with a friend and you will not be getting their name."

"In that case Mr. Malfoy, it is my responsibility to inform you that you are being charged with felonious transfiguration of a Ministry Official. You have the right to counsel, if you cannot afford your own counsel.."

"Really? I am Draco Bloody Malfoy, are you honestly that ridiculous?"

"..cannot afford your own counsel someone can be provided for you from the Ministry. You have the right to not answer our questions, but be aware that any answers you fail to give now may harm your defense if revealed at a later time. Do you understand these rights as they have been read to you?"

"Do you understand my rights as you have read them to me? Bloody ridiculous!"

"Do you understand Mr. Malfoy?"

"More than you apparently."

"STOP THIS, IT WASN'T HIM… IT WAS ME, OKAY, IT WAS ME!"

"What the hell is going on, get out of here – this is an official interview, you cannot be in here"

"Granger, what are you doing here, get out!"

"IT WASN'T DRACO, IT WAS ME! THIS ISN'T AN OFFICIAL BLOODY INTERVIEW, THIS IS A WITCH HUNT"

"I am no Witch, Granger"

"SHUT UP YOU TART, IT'S A MUGGLE TERM. THIS IS ALL CRAP – RONALD WEASLEY ARE YOU BEHIND THAT MIRROR? ARE YOU? IT WAS ME THAT TURNED YOU INTO A WEASEL, BECAUSE YOU ARE A WEASEL AND YES, I WAS WITH…"

"Granger, stop it. Stop talking, otherwise I have just allowed this idiot to waste 3 hours of my time for nothing."

"RONALD WEASEL WEASLEY, IF YOU ARE BEHIND THAT MIRROR GET OUT HERE NOW OR SO HELP ME MERLIN YOU WILL BE CHARGING ME WITH WORSE CRIMES THAT TRANSFIGURING YOU INTO YOUR TRUE SELF! RONALD! NOW! I TURNED YOU INTO A WEASEL FROM 25 MILES AWAY, DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT I CANNOT HEX YOUR BALLS INTO AZKABAN FROM BEHIND A PATHETIC LITTLE MIRROR!?

"Granger! Can you even hear me, stop bloody tal…. Hold on, you turned Weasel into a weasel, my goodness Granger, that is just brilliant! So that's why I'm here, although I fail to understand what is illegal about that transfiguration, seems to be an act of human kindness to me."

"Mr Malfoy, I have been informed that you are in fact free to leave. Thank you for your time and your *cough* cooperation!"

"RONALD!?"

"Granger, please, enough with the yelling."

"You are free to leave, **_please_** just leave Mr. Malfoy"

"Granger?"

"Sod this, let's go Draco. I CAN SMELL YOUR FEAR RON, REMEMBER HOW THIS FEELS, IF YOU EVER TRY SOMETHING SO SHITTY AGAIN TO ME OR TO MY BOYFRIEND I WILL NAIL YOU TO A STAKE AND I CAN ASSURE YOU IT WILL NOT TICKLE!"

"Boyfriend? Granger, am I your boyfriend now? This whole day has me discovering such amusing things!"

"I could just as easily turn you into a ferret Draco."

"Um, oh bloody hell….. Shall we be off Granger?, I know a lovely little café around the corner, perfect place for a boyfriend to take his girlfriend for lunch."


End file.
